Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
