Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
