The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
