Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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