That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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