Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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