dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
