hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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