it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
