It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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