we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
