I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she pinky promised me she was 18
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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