Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
its liver damage thursday
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
