my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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