and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
