Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
