Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
