I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
