these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Panties = found
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