ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
