you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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