I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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