No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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