i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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