Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
