So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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