The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
