He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize