we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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