i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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