2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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