so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
