are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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