I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
