I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
