I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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