I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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