Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
