Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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