so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
