found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
