Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
