i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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