You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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