I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
