That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
