So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
