Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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