I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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