he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
